for one i wasn't ignoring u. i just felt that u needed some space to be angry and when u have cooled down perhaps then it would be better to talk. u think im having an easy time in chem eng? i feel so stressed that i think of quitting sometimes. just today i have taken two surprise tests, and i could possibly fail both. u think ure useless? i am more useless than u, the people there are smart and they learn fast, im not. im always the slowest one, the stupidest one. so what if i can draw better than u and am nt in design? there are so many people out there who can draw better than u and ur coursemates and yet are not in design. what ure learning now is the fundementals, which i just so happen to know, next semester, u will have the basic skills and will learn things i have never heard of. how can i be better than u? im so fucking stupid. look at my o's. im tired darling, tired of making everything work out, tired of pleasing everybody, tired of pretending to be someone else, tired of telling myself i can do it when deep down inside i know i cant, tired of being stupid, tired of being useless, tired of just dragging myself through life when i dont see a future, tired of wandering in a bleak landscape, tired of routines, tired of lying, tired of being lied to. you are all i ever truely have, and i am losing u slowly. its painful to live this life. i feel so lost and empty, so devoid of purpose, i dont even know the reason why i bother to wake up each day. sigh..... dont feel like this ok? i love u and it really hurts to see u like this. all u need to do is just work hard thats it, nothing more and i believe that u will succeed. i believe in u.
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